


a grey that is endlessly close to black

by lightningalwaysreturns



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Boys In Love, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eremin - Freeform, Hugs, M/M, Monster Boyfriends, post ch 100
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 10:40:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13293087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightningalwaysreturns/pseuds/lightningalwaysreturns
Summary: If he followed her, he would see Armin again, finally.





	a grey that is endlessly close to black

He hadn’t planned on going with Mikasa, at first; it was simple, sullen curiosity that let her lead him back to safety, back to the friendlier shores he’d left behind some time ago he lost track of by now.

If he followed her, he would see Armin again, finally.

And that’s all that gave him the courage to accept, to relent.

He wouldn’t stay for good, unless by some stroke of god or luck—which was in itself doubtful—but he could spare the rest of the day for this. His schedule had been clear, to begin with.

_Fear fell to the back of his mind as he sailed into the seats, with giant crumbled stone spitting in each direction. Pain sensors dulled in the wake of him killing, killing, killing…_

Mikasa led Eren to the encampment they’d established near some abandoned docks. Just as expected, Armin was there, strapped in the same black belts as Mikasa, his hair pulled back into a messy ponytail similar to Hange’s.

Everything else—big eyes, button nose, those small parts of a person—looked the same.

For some reason, though, tears clouded his eyes, and his nose turned red from the flush. Both fists clenched at his side.

Eren stood before Armin in far less time than he needed. Suddenly his voice was gone. Best friend to best friend. An urge to cry met with tears already close to falling. His throat felt tight.

Armin spoke first, tense but mostly even. “Do you have time?”

“Some,” Eren said automatically.

“Come with me.” Armin took his hand, waited for a rejection that never came then lowered his fingers until they linked with Eren’s.

They darted off a few hundred feet then around a crumbling half-wall structure, out of eyeshot of camp, just to be certain.

Eren’s heart rankled the whole time. When Armin turned to face him, the yellow-orange sky dyeing his skin warm, that urge he’d felt earlier to cry returned. It had been too long since Eren struggled with such emotions; he’d been too empty and focused on the performance of his plan to shed so much as a single tear. Learning the truth had hardened his heart, filled the cracks with flame and ire. Something so tender as tears—coming from someone so treasured as Armin—made a millennium of emotions well up deep inside Eren, who’d been so distant from those things for so long.

They stared at each other linked only by a single hand between them. It was quiet except the wind for a while. And then Armin’s face dissolved.

He went weak as sobs overtook him, seemingly from out of nowhere, with the sunlight a halo around him as he did.

Eren’s heart broke.

He didn’t know what else to do except pull Armin close, into him, their fingers pulling tight to each other and his face in Armin’s blond hair.

Somehow, as if by proximity alone, being in Armin’s presence, shirt soaking up his tears, Eren no longer felt the void that had sapped him of his interest in _life_. He trembled under the weight of it and, quietly, joined in the pain.

It didn’t stay quiet for long.

Armin had a handful to say that slipped out between sobs— _I’m so glad you’re safe, You left so suddenly, Eren I missed…_ —which meant a million different things. And through it all, until the point where he could breathe to calm down, his hand stayed clasped tight to Eren’s. They had a lot to talk about, but this came first. It was necessary too.

After everything, all Eren could manage was, “I’m sorry…”

Armin sighed through lingering distress. “Me, too,” he said. “You’d think I’d be over crying by now.”

Eren wiped a tear from his face. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” A small smile graced Armin’s face, returning his expression to that of a 15-year-old child instead of the 19 years he’d led now. “I was worried.”

“I can tell.” Eren dipped his head. Gentled. Smiled in return.

“Are you okay?” Armin asked. His eyes glittered against the sunset.

“Yeah.” Eren’s hand squeezed Armin’s. “But only if you are.”

“If I am…?”

Images flashed behind Armin’s eyes as they turned inward to contemplate his answer, but Eren let it go. He knew only too well that _anything_ could’ve changed in the time they’d been separated to make Armin trail off in thought the way he had. As long as they had each other, though, they always made it through.

And their hands were still linked.

Armin’s smile was full of tremors. “I’m fine. Let’s go home, Eren. We have a lot to talk about… right?”

**Author's Note:**

> idr kno enough abt what’s goin on in snk to write anything worthwhile but i jus needed armin to have a good cry bc it’s been a while and if anything he doesn’t cry enough yfm
> 
> i kno this sucks


End file.
